At Dr. Demorest’s Office.

I was struggling in the “Paradigms and Processes of Research in Music Education” course during the Fall semester of 2018. I remember meeting up with Dr. Demorest in his office and telling him honestly that the course was too difficult and that I even had to even drop another class in order to spend more time studying for this class. He was disappointed, but not in a way that was condemning.

I remember he paused and looked at me and said: “Cynthia, I don’t think you are putting your heart in this. Where is your heart these days?”

It was then I realized that his disappointment wasn’t because he thought I was not good enough, or that the course was really too hard for me. Actually, it’s because he believes that I can do much better if I were to put my heart in it.

That was the beginning journey of my time here at Northwestern, studying music education, as well as slowly directing my heart to where it should be. Dr. Demorest, along with all the other wonderful faculty that I got guidance from, supported me all the way. Looking back, I see that my heart has definitely learned to be in the right place. And when it did, the tasks that were in front of me were not so difficult anymore.